Evolution XXV

How to attract a woman or a man?

What is the controlling force in your life?

What makes you to do what you do? 

The controlling force in all human behavior, what drive us are 2 forces: 1) The need to avoid pain.   2) The desire to gain pleasure.

This twin forces are the drive behind all human behavior. 

Everything we do in life we do out our need to avoid pain or desire to gain pleasure. The need to avoid pain is biological it is built in your nervous system, why? Because it is a survival mechanism and your brain will fight like crazy anytime it sees you are asking to do something that gonna lead to pain. So we need to learn how to change what we link pain and what we link pleasure to. How? For example, what if you saw somebody that you are really attracted to and you want to be with her or with him, you want to develop a relationship but you didn't follow through. How it is possible? Because you associated more pain to walking up and ask her or him for a date then not doing it. Your thoughts are if I can do it I can have the pleasure but which one was the more powerful motivator force? The pleasure of being in a relationship or the potential pain of being rejected? If you didn't follow thought you already know the answer don't you? The pain. In general people do almost everything to avoid pain. 

Now a curious question: What happens when 2 pains come up side by side? What happens when if you do something it's gonna be painful and if you don't do it it's gonna be also painful. Which action would you take? For example you can say: If I don't go to this lady and meet her then I will never meet her again, I will never have a relationship I will miss her and you will have the pain of that. But also your brain it will say to you: But if you go to her and she reject you then you really will have pain. So what determines your behavior is which pain is more intense. 

Let see another example. All people in general want to be in a relationship. Why? Because people think that being in a relationship mean lots of what? Pleasure, love, happiness, security, being close, all those special feelings. Then they get in a relation and they say I don't want to be in a relationship because they now start to think that be in a relation means pain or worst they think a relationship is this incredible thing in the world, they love this person, gave 1000% of themselves, they think about him or her constantly and then as times goes by and something happens and this person let say leaves them, lost interest, or breaks up with her or him, or broke his or her heart in a million pieces. 

This already happened to you? If not don't worry probably it will. Well I'm not being so supportive now but in our life time we gonna have relationships that people are not so committed as we are so there is a chance of this happens. What happens now for some people they have what we call pain at this moment. So what they link in their mind is relationships = pain. Now there is a big problem because also in their mind they have also this association in their nervous system, that association that relationships = pleasure. So what happens in the future? Well for a long time this person will avoid relationships, they don't gonna be too attracted, they express themselves rarely, or they will be more closed. With time some of the pain goes off, then they see someone that they get attracted and they develop a relationship and as the relation starts to grow, there is a point in the relation when it goes really really well then immediately that person starts to sabotage the relationship. This already happened to you? Because inside your mind something happened like I'm having all this pleasure but I know what is going to happen next, relationships = pain, eventually so it's better get out now before the pain gets here.

So the controlling force of our life, what drives our life is what we link to pain and what we link pleasure to.

Pain and pleasure are the biggest motivators and of the 2, you will do more to avoid pain usually then ever you will to gain pleasure.     

So how can we use this understanding of the controlling force, how can we use the understanding that pain is a great motivator then even pleasure? One way to use it, it is to begin to understand that any moment and time our reality it's based on whatever we focus on. That any moment and time what you focus on it is the most real to you. All you got to do is to control your mental focus. So if you want to change your behavior you must focus on how not doing something is gonna be more painful then just going for. Another words link not taking action is more painful then just doing it. Do it to yourself upfront don't wait to life put you in a pressure situation that you feel that you have to do something. 

Use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. You do that and you are in control of your life. You don't do that and life controls you. Unfortunately for most people life controls them. If there is anything you want to do and you can't figure out why you are not doing it, so there is just a simple answer, you link more pain to doing it to not doing it. You got to right now decide that you control the focus of your mind. You are in control and you have the ability to change your focus and then change your behavior instantly by learning to control pain and pleasure and what you link to. 

So how to attract a woman or a man? To be brutally honest with you I don't have the perfect answer for that question and it was not my original ideia when I decide this subject for this post to give you a bullet proof plan to how you can accomplish that but I just wanted to share with you how we work, what is happening inside our head when we are living our lives. 

But there is a few personal tips about the theme I want to share with you now, think of yourself like you are working in a restaurant serving your customers. When it's almost in the end of the meal of your customer and you ask him or her: Do you want a dessert? ( LOL what a comparison I'm giving to you now) The customer replies: No, I don't want. Do you think and feel rejected or offended? Of course no, you just continue your work, your life and you go to the next table and ask the same right? So why should you be offended or feel rejected when someone says to you no when it is about relationships? 

Another tip that I think can help you it is, as human beings we are wired  to accept something when someone want to give to us, so one of the ways to ask for example someone to have dinner could be: If I ... would you ...? If I invite you to have dinner would you accept my invitation? If I invite you to go to the cinema would you come with me? 

Even if the answer is no, remember another great word, don't forget we live in a big world that now because of technology became smaller and we can reach people in just a few seconds all over the world and a great word to remember after receiving a no is: NEXT. Simple isn't? Next, next person you will know, so say less to more people. You must understand about what we discuss above that some people they are not in a position of being open to a new relationship, so try to keep in touch from times to times if you really want that person in your life, let that person know that she or he is important to you, let her or she knows that to you, to be with that person is very important to you, so when it will be important for her or she be with you she or he can give you a call. And what it is interesting is that this is true for any scenario in life.

So what did you like the most about this post I invite you to below you can comment, write some questions, some insults, some compliments, something and if you think you need to share this post with someone go ahead.

As always, your friend.

-JM

       

    

Evolution XXIV

How can I feel great?

It is so easy to feel good, the problem is that the standard in our society says that feel bad, that is natural but feel good all the time then you got a problem!

You need to understand that any emotion you feel it is a pattern. It is a pattern how you use your body, it is a pattern how you use language, it is a pattern where you tend to focus on and believe.

Those 3 patterns make all your emotions. You are saying certain things inside or outside your head. Your belief what you think that gonna happens affects you.

People get in habits again and again and then they think they aren't doing it. They think it just happens. Something in the environment happens and they started doing. It is just a pattern you learned long ago and you being doing it for so long.

Exist 3 pillars that everything that you feel are created from it.

For example you don't get depressed you do depression. Most people think if they take anti-depressives they don't get depressed. False. Some people even try to take maximum doses of anti-depressives and still get depress because your body override all that. Depression comes from those 3 pillars, someone get depressed because they think are getting older, someone get depressed because think they gonna lose the relation, there are plenty of reasons, the thing is where ever you think your future is uncertain or you think that you don't have no future people get depressed doesn't matter how many drugs do you take.

What we feel is based in those 3 patterns: 

1) The pattern of physiology: the way we use our physical body.

Example is someone that says that feels down and he or she literally the body or shoulders are down.

Someone that says that feels very well and energetic his or her body her or his shoulders are up.

You don't feel an emotion you do an emotion.

Sometimes we react to the environment but can someone else have the same treatment and react differently? Of course and that is what we call wisdom, intelligence instead reacting like an animal.

It's true we all gonna react at times but stay there for hours and hours, days and days, months and months or even years? We need to raise the standard! We all feel, we have feelings, sad feelings, hurt feelings, frustration feelings but we can't live there. Some of them we just should feel for short burst just enough to make something better but to live there, there are some people that do it so much over and over again that pretty soon is just that they do continually it's condition. You can control your state.

Your state is not controlled by what someone else says, someone else does or you see in your environment. We have the capacity of in one heart beat to change our state.

2) The pattern of language: Did you ever ear a speaker, a political speaker or a religious speaker and just listening to them moved you, inspired you? Well they moved you with just words but guess who is moving you every day? With words, you are. Some words or some phrases lock us or put us in those states then we just need to be aware to our self-talking.

3) The pattern of what you focus on or what is your belief, you believe about.

Just one example, if you believe that nothing works for you, that belief will begin to take over and you will start to feel that way. So if you give to someone that is depress a drug will it work? Yes because it changes the pattern of physiology for the moment, when you change the biochemistry of someone, that changes the way they respond, for the moment, but when that person takes that drug but they keep focusing on what they don't want, they don't have in their life, what is missing or they don't have a future, even they took the drug these pattern will over power the effect of the drug.

We need to change the belief that make us keep using that physiology. Sometimes we just change the pattern of the physiology and the belief goes away. 

Hope this tips could help you to feel great most of your time!

Your friend,

- JM

Evolution XXIII

There is no such thing as lucky!

Sometimes we look at people that are in a position of great success in their careers now, doesn't matter if it's a great soccer player, a phenomenal brain surgeon, a great investor in the stock market or a traditional business owner and we think he or she is really lucky.

What we don't see behind is all the hours they put in the doing, in the work it self, we don't see how many hours they work a day, in some cases we can even affirm day and night, maybe 14 to 16 hours a day, Monday to Sunday, and don't forget no HOLIDAYS. 

So there are really people willing to work 16 hours a day?

If you didn't saw yet the movies The Social Network and Jobs it's a good start to have one ideia, there you can understand how Apple and Facebook in this example were started.

Do you think Amazon, Uber, Airbnb and Microsoft just a few examples were created from 9 am to 5 pm from Monday to Friday?

Being a Entrepreneur is a way of life, is not a thing you have on and sometimes you can turn it off.

Even when Entrepreneurs are in vacations somehow they find a way of being connected to their businesses, it's their baby so they need to take care of and even when they don't have direct connection by phone or internet mentally they are thinking how they can serve better their customers, how it's possible to do even more then it's being done now.

This description above doesn't mean is forever, it means specially in the beginning is fundamental be like, is not different like a rocket when is going up in the phase of taking off, it will use the most of the fuel, so is the same with you, you need to be obsess or you will be average, and by the way average people achieve average results.

If you are more into sports like soccer or any another sport for example see the 2 movies that Cristiano Ronaldo has about his life and you will understand how a champion is made of!

Bottom line if you have passion for what you're doing you will be willing to put in the extra hours.

Most of people now live for Friday's night but in most of cases even they will plan better that weekend that is coming then their lives in a short and long term.

It's really interesting to see, what  common people post in social media when everything we see in general looks like there is a dream magical night waiting for them in the weekends the night of Friday and Saturday and then that somehow when Sunday night arrives turns into a nightmare a "oh no tomorrow is another Monday".

 So let's go by Monday.

Nooo today is still just Tuesday.

Come on we are already in the middle of the week today is Wednesday.

UF almost there today is Thursday and...

UPI thank God today is Friday!!!

Sunday night starts all over again.

Don't get me wrong if you just want to have a job it's ok with that nothing against it, after all we need good people also as employees for corporations but if you have a entrepreneur bone you just can't have a job, you even don't support that ideia of being working for someone else dream.

Let's say for example you're a professor, and you love to teach, or you will all your life be a traditional professor, nothing against all the good professors in the world, but if you are a entrepreneur you will create a www.lynda.com for example and don't gonna stay just working for a school.

"The harder I work the luckier I get" perhaps you know this saying and is very accurate.

Nothing is free in this world everything has a price and the more value you provide, the more problems you will solve, more the market place will compensate you, is just simple as that. 

Of course in some situations the timing and the place where we were born can give a little advantage but even like that there is no such thing as lucky!

So for your own good if you make it here so far means you want more from your life so please do a huge favor to yourself, please define what you like, your passion, learn about the subject, become an expert, a professional, define your mission, choose a mentor, invest in yourself, learn and then share with the world and the world will take care of you!

PS: By the way have a great weekend ;)

- JM

Evolution XXII

How to become more productive and achieve more!

The secret to success in all areas of your life it's your MINDSET,
it's your philosophy towards life! 

 

Your mindset is the key to become more productive and achieve more, when good things happen and when bad things happen.

There are people that become really affected, they get really upset when things go wrong and then others uses that to grow, to improve, look at that like a learning experience and you need to have that mindset if you want to achieve more and become more productive.

If you want to be a person like people follow, to join you in your movement, listen to you, is always about your mindset.

All of us had bad things happened, all of us have experiences that maybe aren't the best, maybe we have toxic relationships, but you have to have the mindset that sometimes I win, sometimes I learn and right now if I'm not winning, I'm not having success so I must be learning, must be a lesson to me to learn through this adversities, through this challenges.

My goal, my philosophy is to help other people, because there were people that helped me to understand how to become better, learn skills yes, skills are great, a lot of people want to know the how to, but you never gonna be successful if you don't have the right mindset, the right philosophy. 

So what could be holding you back from becoming more productive and achieve more?

Maybe you look for excuses not possibilities, there's some adventure, some new business, some new project you could create, some movement you could start and you look at the list why it can't be done or why shouldn't be done or you shouldn't do it.

There are a lot of good excuses why Amazon couldn't work, Uber, Airbnb, Apple couldn't work, Steve Jobs would be a failure. It's the way you approach, the mindset, are you looking for the excuses or the possibilities?

Sometimes you buy a faulty premise. There are convention beliefs, foundation beliefs that used to be true, but no longer is and sometimes it was never true. 

If you really want to achieve more find a way to contribute to the lives of others and to serve many.

Serve to many leads to greatness.

Contribution to others leads to a better life.

Become a lifelong learner by reading every single day, listening, watching, attending, having careful with your associations because you become who you hang around and set a budget monthly to your personal development, your personal grow.

Use a consistent method of operation: daily, plan, take a minute and plan your day, a to do list.

Most of people that are not productive haven't prepared themselves sufficiently, so what is the one thing you really want to accomplish and haven't done that yet? And which one of these above is the reason?

Have a great week and create something amazing!

- JM

Evolution XXI

Some things you need to know about MONEY

Money offers FREEDOM and SECURITY!

Money can give you security, pay for your home, provide to your children future, their college fund, your retirement fund so gives you security. 

Money also gives you FREEDOM, gives you freedom of choice, to you live where you wanna live, to drive the kind of car you wanna drive, to visit the kind of places you wanna go to your vacations, to not have a creepy boss, a creepy job you hate, that you go there everyday.

Money is a eco for value produced. The more value you produce, more money you gonna receive. The way to get more money is to simple produce more value.

Rich people will save the world. If you wanna save the whales or if you wanna save the forest the best thing you can do is become wealthy to support those causes that are near and dear to your heart.

Not becoming financial free is an insult to the force that created you. Doesn't matter what you consider that force, if it's natural or spiritual, doesn't matter the label you use because if you don't became healthy, happy and wealthy that is an insult to the force that created you.

Have a great week, go for it, lets do something amazing this week and be FREE!

- JM

Evolution XX

How you grow your WEALTH?

You have to spend less money then you take in every year!

You have to spend less money on your living, on your buyings, mortgage, your transportation, food, cell phone plan, etc, because if you don't you can't grow your wealth, you always be broke which it will be optimistic because more then likely you probably always be in debt.

Most people today spend about 125% of what they are earning. You need to take a percentage and have to put it to work, growing your wealth, power of compounding / power of compound interest.

Decide now to live in X percentage of what you take in every week or every month.

You use that percentage and then use it to invest that percentage in 3 buckets.

Bucket number 1 - Low risk so usually means low return investments but almost all investments in this bucket have no risk at all then it means also low reward.

Bucket number 2 - Moderate risk, moderate return. In this bucket you can have real estate investments, stocks and investment funds.

Bucket number 3 - High risk but also have potential to high return. Mostly new emerging tech stock companies, it means high reward.

Depending of your profile and character you decide the % for every each bucket but never forget that bucket number 1 should have the biggest % because like that can never be lost the principal.

Then decide according your personality if you like more to take risks for example the percentages for buckets number 2 and 3.

Decide today to learn how the money system works that is designed to keep you in dangerous servant.

Have a great weekend and decide to be in GOOD mode ( Get Out Of Debt ).

- JM

Evolution XIX

Why you need to achieve FREEDOM?

True freedom abordes a couple of things: money, material things and relationships!

It is really important that you don't diminish money and material things as part of the reward of becoming free.

Becoming free it allows you to choose, choose about the kind of home you live in, the kind of car you drive, all these cool stuff is FREEDOM.

But it is FREEDOM how you make your day, what time you wake up, wake up when you finish sleeping, doing work that mean something to you, doing things that enhance your life, give value to your life, spending time with the people who are important to you, so there is a lot of freedom with that.

When you achieve FREEDOM you achieve also security, you need to have security, you don't want to be at mercy of some boss that can laid you off, you don't want to be at mercy of some changing in economy or in your industry, you need to have the security knowing your bills are paid, your home is debt free and you can provide to your future.

If you are poor you can not help anyone else because you even can help yourself.

When we are poor we are missing the mark that our Creator, the energy that created us, the force that created us given us.

We supposed to be free, we supposed to be healthy, we supposed to be happy, if you are poor you are placing a burden in other people, in society to meet your need and if you are poor you can't really contribute to society in a full manner. If you are poor you can't help charities, you can't contribute to noble causes, you can't do good work and you can't help others.

There is no shame in being born poor, lots of us born poor, a lot of you reading this born poor, I don't think there is any problem be born in poverty, what is the problem is to stay in poverty, because is an insult to the force that created you, for you to be born in poverty and stay in there, to be born in sickness and stay there, born in unhappiness and stay there, that is an insult to the force that created you, with all the incredible inherited potential that is alive in you and you just only need to uncover.

But also for you can transform yourself like I wrote in the book TRANS4MATION it's up to you! you need to overcome the victim mindset, you have to let go be a victim and you have to transform yourself into being a victor.

You can be a victim or you can be a victor but you can't be both, you have to choose one or another.

How can I know if I'm being a victim? Well if you need to ask yourself that question the answer is probably you are. How do you stop being a victim and transform yourself into a victor? The answer to that question is a simple answer: You decide to.

Don't forget that money doesn't make you happy, material things doesn't make you happy, I agree that material things doesn't buy happiness but money and material things allow you FREEDOM of expression and is that FREEDOM of expression that makes you happy.

The most powerful benefit of you becoming free is who you have to become, is the person you have to become to create FREEDOM.

So have a great week, be amazing and don't forget to be FREE!

- JM